October 25, 2004

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  Her name is Sherry and she is new to the world.

  
  

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  Apparently babies don't move much when you bring them home. They just sleep. My cousin's baby is pretty small. 5.9 pounds and 19 inches long.

  
  

  Let the dirty jokes commence because I can't bring myself to do it.

  
  

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  My dreams have been strange lately. Words cannot describe them in detail. I can only provide a general formula to the visions I've been getting while unconscious.

  
  

  Women + Sex + Catapults - Logic = My Dreams Lately

  
  

  The worst parts of the dreams are the orgasms. I'm not getting any. The women are. This has got to be some kind of awful role reversal. I should have never wrote that he-bitch entry. Damn it all to hell! I'm no munani.

  
  

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  I was talking to my uncle while I drove him to the hospital while his son and daughter in law were in labor. He commented how he never witnessed birth, not even his two kids'. Traditionally, guys stood outside while chicks had stuff coming out of their vagina. Urine, periods, locusts, babies, whatever. Guys stand outside in those days.

  
  

  Women cooked the food and did the dishes, too. Probably because their feet are smaller, allowing them to stand closer to the stove and sink. The gist of it is, in the past, women had to help guys but guys never helped women.

  
  

  Isn't that empowerment?

  
  

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  In Asia, men still come first and women come second. Or sometimes not at all.

  
  

  Oh how I crack myself up.

  
  

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  My cousin's family's view of me is really strange. They believe me to be irresponsible and helpless. Strange, because I'm not the one who relies on credit, ignores dishes, fails to take care of my grandfather's immigration issues, or has an empty void in the logic tank.

  
  

  What it all boils down to is the fact that they forget that I am not from their immediate family and am only 23 years old. They think I'm 30 and constantly try to make fun of me for not being married. It's really weird, like those people who make really lame jokes because they do not understand the situation.

  
  

  The craziest comparison they have made is how their daughter got married before me. She's friggin' 32 and got married a year and a half ago. Dumbasses.

  
  

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  Those murderous rages that I feel and sometimes touch upon in this blog probably stems from people like this. How in the fuck can I be related to these fools? It must be similar to the Hitler syndrome. The History Channel keeps reminding us that Hitler had some Jew in him and that it bothered him. It drove him to execute quite a few people to say the least.

  
  

  Borrowing from a Gatorade commercial, do I have it in me? Well, no. I'm not Jewish. Like at all.

  
  

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  I am cheap, but I am beyond Jew. I once overheard my Jewish friend Abraham go 'damn that Peter is cheap!'

  
  

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  Some lady at the bank said that she 'always sees me with a mustache.' I have no idea why she pointed out the obvious, but I'm beginning to worry about the people who watch my money. Makes me want to go out on a murderous rage.

  
  

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  Next entry will have some video of Sherry and my old stuff from UCR. Smell ya later.

  
  

  Okay, I don't know what that means, but Will Smith uses it and Will Smith is cool. Right?

  
  

   

  • 10:40 am
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