November 4, 2004
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Here's something I didn't think would happen after the elections. The weather is fantastic in Houston. Fifty some odd degrees when I left the house, the high will be in the low seventies. This is so awesome.
Reminds me of home, but too bad there's no fog.
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I heard the funniest shit on the radio this morning. A Texas inmate on death row commited suicide after the election. Might as well get this shit over with now.
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Hey, so if there is a draft, I might hit jackpot and get shipped to the front lines right away. There's this rumor that single children aren't drafted first, but I'm hoping it's bullshit. Anyway, I can't wait to get drafted, man.
I'm going to be such a bad soldier just to ensure that I stay alive. For example, during boot camp, instead of properly demonstrating how to disarm an enemy Muslim, I'm just going to hump his leg into submission. I might even take my pants off first even though I don't want to get sand in my crack.
Don't you hate it when that happens?
Yes?
Freak.
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This might sound silly, but I really don't want to get beheaded or, you know, shot in the crotch. I also doubt that I'd enjoy stepping on a land mine. That shit has got to sting like a bitch.
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I'm assuming bad soldiers get called 'cluster fucks', 'assholes', and 'pansy ass candy asses' all the time. I think I can deal with that.
Every superior officer I hate will end up in my xanga. And then when the war is over and we all go home, I'll steal their prosthetic limbs and hit them on the heads with them. I'll get so many e-props.
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By the way, if there is a draft at any point in time, no president could have stopped it. The situation is what it is. Don't think for a second that Kerry could avoid it if it needs to happen.
None of this shit matters in the long run anyway, which is why I feel bad for our troops. There are a gajillion Chinese troops waiting to kick everyone's ass during the next world war.
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I just want to do something this weekend. Christ, I'm burned out right now. Feel like I was the candle stick at a KKK rally.
Maybe I'll hit the open road and see other parts of the country that were colored red on Tuesday. Life is good there, right?
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Anyways, I'm kidding about that bad soldier shit. It wouldn't do justice to the people that have died already. They joined up in the military years ago so that I wouldn't have to be there right now. So that I could be in Houston.
To my future battalion mates, you can totally trust me. But know that every skank you screw is ending up in my xanga so that your wives can hit you over the head with your prosthetic limbs after the war is over.
I am going to get so many e-props.
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Kim Jungle is back. hahahahahahaha.
Comments (8)
well, yeah, eventhough kerry dosent know abien, but if he was elected, i would hate to live in this country. anyhow, at least I have an option ..not that taiwan is much better.
war is scary. bush is scary. prosthetic limbs are scary. this entry is going to give me nightmares.
bah! You freakin' bleeding heart. Pull your pants up, if I ever run into you at draft camp. And stop humping my leg.
i am too busy dealing with my own problems to think about g. bush
yeah!! viva protestic limbs and e-props! haha. so uhh... where did u hear about the single kids not getting drafted first? whats that about? im an only child... everyone else gets to go out kamikazee style first huh? interesting
re your comment... yeah my car is "dolphin grey" and looks like a dolphin but flipper is not really a choice name for an audi... so i made it be a shark and named it Bruce... at least its not as pansy as flipper... hahahaha
Draft-don't sweat too many nights thinking about it. Not feasible for any Commander In Chief! Hope ur weekend was coolio!
ha, ha, ha yeah kim jong il is the man. deer leader, and the man.
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