November 16, 2004
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This just in:
sicilykicksass: I just got the best movie idea ever. . .something the world has been waiting for. . .maybe the best Saturday morning show turned into a feature. . .something that everyone needs. . .Saved By the Bell, the movie
cypherningya913: yeah, and it should be updated to deal with the gritty world of teenagers in places like orange county
sicilykicksass: Yeah
cypherningya913: so we'll add some matrix like fights between ac slater and screech
cypherningya913: jesse will experiment with lesbian sex
sicilykicksass: But, I would want to make it a teen sex romp movie ala American Pie
cypherningya913: zack will bend color lines by dropping kelly for the black chick
cypherningya913: kelly will whore herself out
sicilykicksass: One scene could be called "Lisa finally does Screech"
cypherningya913: ...with zack's penis
sicilykicksass: I want Gene Hackman as Mr. Belding
cypherningya913: colin farrel has to be zack
cypherningya913: makes it marketable
sicilykicksass: Yeah
cypherningya913: the rock is slater
cypherningya913: he was born for it
sicilykicksass: Vivica Fox as Lisa
sicilykicksass: Yep
cypherningya913: good choice
cypherningya913: paris hilton is kelly
sicilykicksass: That's good. . .Rebecca Romijn as Jesse
cypherningya913: yeah, she has experience with lesbian scenes
cypherningya913: like in Femme Fatale
cypherningya913: who leaps out at you with the role of screech?
sicilykicksass: Yeah
sicilykicksass: The only man who can be screech. . .Dustin Diamond
cypherningya913: are you sure we can afford him?
cypherningya913: i guess money is no object
cypherningya913: ur right as usual
sicilykicksass: YEah
cypherningya913: so that just about covers it right?
sicilykicksass: Maybe Barry Williams
cypherningya913: do we need a good villain?
cypherningya913: like gary busey?
sicilykicksass: YEah
cypherningya913: this movie is making a 100 million at the box office
sicilykicksass: Actually, we should have Gary Bussey and Nick Nolte. . .they are both insane
cypherningya913: oh oh oh
cypherningya913: what if they are one person
cypherningya913: like they are pasted on each other back to back upside down
cypherningya913: meaning they have to do cartwheels the whole time?
cypherningya913: yeah?
cypherningya913: like it?
sicilykicksass: Once again, you've proven yourself as a genious
cypherningya913: i know, and this proof is going on my xanga
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Because that freak Korepsych wants to know:
I'm currently eating a mocha muffin and sipping a Johnny Walker Blue, neat.
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There was a time when I wanted to be Prince. That was before I saw those high heels, figure skating outfits, the nerdy writings on his cheek, and that awful perm. Because after I saw all that stuff I really wanted to be Prince.
But really, I love that whole persona he had. It was insane! He looked like a homo, but deep down he was just this horny little guy who humped his guitar whenever he took a break from humping his girlfriends.
I'm a horny little guy, too, but I don't have a guitar. I don't even have a perm.
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Chris Rock once commented that back in the day people thought Prince was eccentric and Michael Jackson was 'Disney'. But it ends up Prince having a family and charity while Michael has weird looking babies with women that have no existence.
But I say you gotta hand it to Michael. He kissed Elvis' daughter and got her naked in a music video.
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I have a love relationship with this thing called mocha muffins. They taste really good. I pick them up a few times a week at Rice Village on my way to work. Like any other muffin, the top is the best part to eat because it is crunchy.
I hate Costco muffins. Those are some rank ass muffins. Their tops are mushy and have a boogery consistency. I know a lot of people who wouldn't eat boogers, but they buy Costco muffins as if they were stocking up for a natural disaster. Personally, I would eat boogers before I lick a Costco muffin, which shows that I am a better person than Costco muffin eaters.
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By the way, on the Southwest Freeway, there's this billboard that says Muff-a-licous. It makes me laugh so hard that I cough up hairballs. You make the connection.
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Amazingly, I've lost some weight. I wasn't really trying to, but I think it happened because my poo maker is working overtime. It's like once a meal goes down the chute it hits rock bottom and rolls out. Disgusting, I know, but terribly interesting to me.
If you ever get the privilege to take a meal with me, you shouldn't listen to a word I say until after the meal. Chances are I'm full of shit and telling you things you want to hear. For example I might say you are prettier in person when you are undeniably atrocious.
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So, uh, anyone want to hang out? If you have a sense of dread or any other generally morbid wishes, give me a call at 672-382-5968. I guarantee that you'll die within two years of meeting me.
But if we sleep together you'll end up living forever. The fountain of youth just happens to be located in my pants. You should know, though, that it's actually a terrible thing rather than a good one. Living forever just means everyone you love is going to die around you. You'll also hate your appearance because old age makes you look undeniably atrocious.
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Help Bounny out. She needs a liver, but she'll settle for an iPod. I hear she gives 'great head', whatever that means. I haven't met her yet, so she shouldn't die unless she doesn't get her liver. I mean iPod. Just help her out, okay, because I want to receive my 'great head' or whatever the hell it is.
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Oh yeah, and help me out, too. I need a new television and am way too cheap to buy one. Actually, I couldn't afford one anyway because my cocaine habit is extraordinarily expensive these days and the money I get from tricking with that monkey just ain't cutting it anymore.
This would actually work for you because once I run out of money, I'd try to sell the television and monkey to you for like five bucks. That's insane!
Just like you.
http://www.FreeFlatScreens.com/?r=1167953
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I'd like to end today's session with a question. There's a niche market that I think I can dump some product on.
You know how people say 'dirty whore', right? Are there such things as 'clean whores' and would you be interested in them?
How about I sweeten the offer by throwing in some monkeys?
Comments (22)
wow, johnnie walker for breakfast? nice. and yes, if you ever come by Atl, bring it on, I am always looking for new opponents. I never thought of Costco's muffins like that.. hmm... I don't think i'll be buying them anymore. Theres this store called "flying biscuit", I get their chocolate cream cheese muffin sometimes.. its one of the most filling muffin, they have a mocha one too, but its not as good. I think they use too much organic material in there.. too healthy,
oh yeah, and maybe i should start drinking lots of barley green stuff or eat prunes, so that i could poop as much as you do, then I would lose weight.
hehehe danky *mwaaaaaaaaaa
*roaring*
OMG, You are truly...unique.
thnx for the laughter first thing this morn!
Have a good one~S
uhh... i met you like... (holy shit) 9 years ago, and i'm not dead... and, as far as i can remember, we haven't slept together.
then again, i'm a dirty whore so... who knows.
no see if there were shirtless guys walking around all the time, i wouldn't have time to be depressed... hahaha.
you're so not clever. I figured it out in 2.5 seconds.
mocha muffin = cypherningya eating black lady pussy
costco muffin = cypherningya eating $2 whore pussy
and btw, I wrote that number down, a $3 mexican whore named Xena is going to be calling you later on.
hahahaa you think I'm kidding too
hey bastard, I hope you enjoy all the free publicity I'm sending you... and what the hell are you doing in a San Francisco blog ring when you're from texas....
i was told to harass you. *harassing you*
thats not me taking a shit in my xanga.... who is this??
i suggest offering free mind-blowing BJs if u want anyone to sign up for this stuff.
and also, who the hell would want a 'clean' whore. the word 'whore' in and of itself implicitly implies "Dirty slut"
i have slept with peter yeh
and i sure did die
on the inside
Those free iPods never work. Though with the number of hits your site gets perhaps it would for you.
And shoot, I do a clean whore. She's healthy and an easy lay. What more can you want in life?
i have the same overactive metabolism. whatever i eat makes its exit within one hour - doesn't even make a pit stop at the places i WISH it WOULD stop at. ;-D
i have a spare tv....but the color is all &%$*ed up.
are you saying you want a guitar for xmas but will probably settle for a perm
Back to say..indeed you're a crazy american..and NOT all Canadians live in igloos..only half *wink*
Later Brat~S
lol- You are too much!!!! Prince is the man!!! And he has always had the bad perm, the high heels and the odd dressing style, his sister makes his outfit. Maybe you had a tinsy, little sexual attraction towards him..(shhh, I won't tell anyone)
I wasn't offended by whigger, just wanted to make sure u understood that term was made to bring forth stereotypes on black people and white people who try to fit into black culture and have no clue how to be real!!!! Aren't u afraid of weirdos calling you????
i can't believe you put your phone number! you're crazy.
prince is a fag.. i've always hated him.
i wish i could go on the shits diet.. but doesn't it make ur bum hurt?
hahahaha you losers! Try Dustin Hoffman as screech, not Dustin Diamond. Now that would be a bold choice.
Do you smell-l-l-l-l what the Graduate is cooking?
sure, every weekend is an excuse to drink myself into oblivion, but i don't want to have to pay for it. at all. i don't even want to have to bring money out with me. i want bridge toll taken care of, i want my cover covered and a drink in my hand from when i hit the club at 10:30 until i leave at 2:00. actually, i want people to meet at my house and bring booze with them so i can start before we leave. i want there to be so many drinks at a time that i need someone else to volunteer to hold one for me so that, in my state of extreme drunkenness, i can scream at them if they try to take a sip, and not feel bad about it later on because i won't even remember. i also want my bail covered when i get arrested for public drunkenness.
i think nick nolte and gary busey would both be injured in the making of your film.
i would so watch your film... maybe it would drag me out of my depression! haha. and muff-a-licious huh... yeah i would laugh too. thats a good one...
Comments are closed.