February 22, 2005
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Oh. They serve beer.
There is no 'off' position to my genius switch. Perhaps the greatest invention the world will ever see resides in my publically educated brain. Wouldn't it be great if you could eat spicy foods without the terror of asshole burn? What if we could eat buffalo wings without feeling like we suffered through anal sex with the devil? Isn't that worth fighting for? Isn't that worth dying for?
Anti-ass stinging poo poo pills can protect us from the spicy foods we eat.
Lately I've been wondering why we describe 'it' as horny. Such an odd concept for me to grasp. I mean, I know there is no correlation to the words horny and horn. Just wondering what Englishman in history coined the term because he had an erect penis and wanted to rub it on some lady.
I watched Garden State last night. Not my cup of tea. The movie only illicited a couple of chuckles from me. Only things I admired about the movie were the performances of Natalie Portman, Ian Holm, and especially Peter Sarsgaard. I'd say Method Man's thrity seconds were good, but then I'd sound like a Wu-Tang groupie after a hotel room encounter.
It's funny, though, my opinions. I couldn't make a better movie.
So I'm trying to get Pat to co-author a script for a short film. Problem is he is a lazy sack of shit, just like any other white person. Bigger problem is I'm an even lazier sack of shit.
We're trading emails and haven't come up with a very good idea yet. I guess that makes us struggling writers, a category of man that is usually considered sexy in a mysterious way. Except Pat and I are anything but sexy. He smells bad and I want to create an anti poo poo stinging pill.
Comments (26)
my mind's on that glass of beer... i mean, that glass of beer's on my mind.
that one made me laugh.
BJ's
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
ur gf must think ur the biggest perv
ryc: missing images no... just brain cells. just brain cells.
funny, i watched garden state for the second time last night too and i liked it even more. you gotta give zach braff some cred for pulling together an emo savvy flick with the appropriate eargasm soundtrack to accompany it. 2 thumbs up for me.
p.s. my friend once read an article on a study somewhere stating that how messy a person's room is determines how good they are in bed. *rawr*
I have garden state on my harddrive.
Been sitting there for about a month now.
Still havent watched it.
I have to admit, your eye for composition is superior to mine.
but my Kung-fu is superior to yours!
let's duel.
you guys suck (you and pat)... I'm bored, let me join in on the fun, I got some ideas worth throwing your way.
i love bjs. HAHAHAHHAHAH! i meant the brewery. OR DID I??? hahah jk.
i didn't notice method man in garden state. i don't remember a black man in there at all hehe
ryc: my, aren't you negative! me and the ex are still good friends and speak honestly. i wouldn't have dated him if he fucked everything that walked
that's pretty genius.
saw garden state on sunday... i liked it. my new fantasy- porking natalie portman wearing that retard cap
i dunno..
yeah. garden state did nothing for me either...
i think the horny thing came from pagan deity 'pan' who had horns and was known for trying to hump nymphs, women...anything that moved. i'm so depressed that i actually know that.....
if you are inquireing about the arri.. wont know till thursday.. getting it processed today and will get a workprint... actually probably just a one light... back on thursady... its an old camera and allegedly the lense is a bit warped or something.. but we will see in a couple of days.
and...
just keep writing.
i never lost it, it was at home. i was at school when i wrote this poem.
who needs writing when your anti-poo poo pill will make you a billionaire in no time!!!
asshole of fire... welcome to my life. let me know when you come up with the perfect anti ass stinging poo poo pills. youre a genius btw.
"lazy sack of shit, just like any other white person."
i was going to angrily disagree, but then i remembered how i purposely put off reading xangas over the weekend so that i'd have something to do at work.
i knew the origin of the term horny, it made sense too. but i misplaced it. damn my short term memory loss!
o_o ... i have essentially nothing to say ... i dont drink (much) ... dont eat spicy food ... dont really watch movies either ... movies are all so long ... i have horribly short attention spand ... to watch a movie u had to sit there for 2 hrs and ur ass hurts afterwards ... that movie better be damn worth it ...
hahahahaahaaa....yea im spent...i'd write something else but what's the point? they all said it up there...
anti-ass stinging poo poo pills. damn. you're going to be rich.
garden state. i liked it. not sure why though. maybe it was the lack of something extraordinary.
Garden State falls in the camp of things like American Beauty, Sideways, Ghost World, American Splendor, etc.
It's like the film audience got sick and tired of all the movies about unrealistic things like one man stopping an entire army type stuff and so the stuff "about regular life" has been all the rage.
No rising acts, no climax, no resolution - just one big straight line across representing your story.
Frankly, I'm to the point of saying, "SO WHAT IF YOUR DAD FED YOU SOME PILLS AND YOUR MOM IS DEAD AND YOUR LIFE IS BORING!" Why should I care? We all have those same problems. How about making me not feel so FUCKIN' depressed after watching your movie?!!!!!
With that said, I liked Garden State only because the actor from Scrubs happened to write/direct/star in the movie. You have to respect that shite. Just goes to show that he was probably really busy, but he pulled that off. Makes you feel real lazy in comparison.
He wrote before he did his first Scrubs episode - supposedly. Plus he got straight C's in all his Northwestern screenwriting courses. Laf.
//
[girl] can I get more thrills?
[guy] you know you want some more girl, so come on..
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thanks for the pint
and i really liked your rainwater pic
+
What are.. emissions... O_O
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