June 28, 2005







  • Some of you are going to hate me. Shouldn't be much of a problem because it seems like my already small readership has dwindled during my drought. Hate me all you want. Even if it's because I am a beautiful specimen of manliness whereas you are most definitely not.


    Right.


    Anyway, I'm going to Spain for about (that's 'aboot' in clearly Canadian) a week in August. Yes, yes, another vacation. My life is just so boo hoo awful. Barcelona and Madrid. Terrible. Just terrible.





    This time I promise to actually transfer what is in my travel journal to xanga. My last two trips were stacked on top of one another. And that second trip was a drive across country that didn't give me too many oppurtunities to catch any internet signals. Not that you guys missed out on much.


    I did interview a hooker, but that wasn't as exciting as I thought it'd be. Guess that's why the narrator on that HBO series recites lousy street poetry.





    Hollywood's depiction of hoes with hearts of gold is problematic because:



    1. Not all whores have hearts of gold.

    2. Prostitutes do not look like Julia Roberts(Pretty Lady), Elizabeth Shue(Leaving Las Vegas), or even Bridget Fonda(Kiss of the Dragon).

    3. Pimps don't show up and smash your face in for taking up too much of a girl's time.

    I was hoping some pimp would come out and try to murder me with his pimp cup or something. Didn't happen I'm sorry to report.





    I don't know why I'm writing about hookers. Especially since I started off gloating about my trip. Maybe gloating isn't so fun anymore.


    You know what else isn't so fun anymore? Peeing on people's cars. In high school, I had this awful phase where I would urinate on people's cars. When my friends would tell me they hate their bosses or about crazy bitches who think they're all that, I'd whip my peter out and pee all over said person's car. Dunno why. Just made me feel better because I would always need to pee whenever a friend confided in me. Made my friends feel better, too.


    Hmm. That's kinda disturbing. Because I think that makes my friends awfully sadistic. Me, I'm sinister. But them, they're fucking sadistic.





    Or is it perverted? Yeah. They're perverted.


    And sadistic.





    I have a feeling that if you asked me to, I'd pee on your car you sadistic pervert.





     

Comments (9)

  • i hate my boss.

  • the new radicals make me sad.

  • you were gone?

  • where have u been? new radicals reminds me of freshman year. their video was in a mall. anyways. fresh pics man. i love em. u really should submit some of your stuff. the food on the airplane looks nasty as usual. what airline did u take? BA? they have crusty attendants.

  • peeing on cars... ahahahaha. i've got an experience with that one. but nothing bad to me!

    you're sinister? well, me i'm dead. and i ain't referring to no emo shit.

    wolverine (aka james logan) est canadien. hein???

  • since u r on vacation all the time u should come visit me in korea and HK *^^*

  • i pee on cars all the time too! but mostly my own when i'm too drunk to find a bathroom.

  • in light of this new knowledge, i'd like to say that i'm officially glad i didn't drive in hs. because if the pictures from back then are any indication, you hated me something awful...

    hm. i always wanted to say that. "... something awful." awesome.

  • That's so specialificious

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