July 13, 2005







  • I've been trying to quit smoking again. You know, kick the habit. Torture thyself. Chopping off my balls.


    Yeah. It's going great.


    It pisses me off everytime I see someone lighting up. They look so happy, and I just want to snatch that happiness away from them. Motherfuckers. I'd give up my right nut for a smoke right now, mostly because I crave nicotine and also because it's slightly larger than my left nut.





    Bums look happier than I do right now. It's been a little over a week and I'm grouchy as fuck. Everytime I see a bum with a cigarette I feel like running up to him/her, grabbing the fucking stoke, and jumping up and down on it. Then I'd take a shit on their eye just for the sake of dropping a deuce on someone.





    If I were a pigeon I'd so drop deuces on bums. I mean think about it. These are people who have it pretty fucking bad already. But they obviously are dealing with their shit by collecting cans, smoking smoked cigarette butts, navigating shopping carts, and writing on cardboard. I have a feeling that shitting on them would just put them...over...the...edge.


    Those crazy bums you see on the street, yelling about cucumbers and what not, those are people who got shat on by a fucking pigeon.





    A pigeon sees a fellow pigeon nail a bum on the lips.


    "Hey, nice shot!"


    They high feather each other and fly south to have sex.





     

Comments (11)

  • i tripped on stevenson st and my coffee flew all over this bum that was trying to sleep.  it was pretty great.

  • when a bum asks me if i have any change, i reply with "yes, but i'm not giving it to you. go get a job." then i just jing in fiercely as i keep on walking

  • try acupuncture...it works!

  • i'll bum a cigarette off to a bum sometimes. maybe we should provide them all with a lifetime supply of free packs. you know... to help them.

  • RYC: well.. you're not the first one who've done that. but i'll give you a holler if we need professional help ;0)

  • are u in france?? its gonna be hard to quit smokin in france......

    maybe u should just quit buying ciggs.. but not quit.... thats wut i did and i stopped smoking or i only smoke once or twice a month now..*^^*

  • i got shat by a pigeon last week. i was pissed. pigeons are gross.

  • you fucker. I need to talk to you. Well actually I don't need to, but I am interested in knowing if you're in town. Seriously. Work is to be done.

  • a bird flew into my window the other day, which almost made me shit myself. but then, i'm not homeless.

  • i've had bird deuces spit on me before.  it only happened on the only day i wore all white:  white tank, white short mini.  the damn deuce landed right smack on my cleavage.  perverted birds.

  • Focus on the fact that you are freeing yourself from nic's tentacles, rather than giving up something.  You are gaining freedom.  g/l

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