July 20, 2005
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Sometimes I have weird dreams where I am someone else who loses a girl to another man. It's weird because I'm not sad or pissed or happy in these dreams. I just look up to see her gone and I just fucking cope. Like I welcome the loneliness.
I used to push everyone away from me because I tend to think and execute better when I'm alone and isolated. My best work has usually been made when I was just fucking coping. Like if the world didn't notice me I'd do better.
And it's funny, because even during school, university, and right now, people might recognize my work but they'll never link it to me. Makes me feel good, though. Because I'm a bit of a hermit and socially inept. But work recognized feels good because it means that on some level, I might connect with others.
Don't get me wrong. I don't have nationally recognized shit or world renown. I'm merely good at what I do. Not great, not bad, just good.
You know how people remember their first kiss? Anyone remember their first miss? Like you shoulda done something but you were way too chicken shit or stupid?
Like she was already in your arms, you were looking down, she was looking up, you really want to plant one on her, but you look away because you're a pussy? Or how about the one where you were too tired to realize anything? You know, you haven't slept for days and you want to nap so she offers her bed but you take the sofa because you guys had a big lunch and you don't want to walk to her room even though you want to hold her so so bad.
No? Uh, me neither.
My girlfriend brought out the bravery in me.
If you're wondering, most of my dirty humor has gone straight into the screenplay. Using xanga to switch tracks because a different train is coming through the story now.
Comments (18)
OH MY GOD IF THAT WAS A SUBTLE HINT AT LISTENING TO THE BRAVERY I GOTTA TELL YOU...
I PEGGED THE FUCKING BASSIST IN THE FACE WITH A BALLED-UP PAPER BALL WHILE THEY WERE DOING A SIGNING AT LIVE 105'S BFD CONCERT.
HAHAHA AFTER I HIT HIM, I WAITED IN LINE FOR AN AUTOGRAPH, AND TOLD HIM HE WAS THE GREATEST EVER. BIOTCH.
this is a true story by the way, in all seriousness.
Btw. You are a lonely wolf. eat it.
I like how you said your girlfriend brought out the bravery in you. I think all girlfriends hope to contribute something to thier guys and bravery is a good one.
k...didn't read any of that, but hi!
put this comment in the screenplay.
it's gold, i'm telling ya; it's gold!!!!
too tired. more like i was too stupid.
her: I called in sick today. my roommates are all gone. come over now.
me: well, if you are sick you should get some rest. i don't want to catch anything
yup, i'm THAT stupid.
first miss. ha. my whole freakin life.
uhh... if you're not doing anything tomorrow night, gary (au) is having a going away party. not sure if you heard about it, but... it promises to be a good time, or something.
if i were a dude i'd do that bravery thing to my hair. sometimes.
noooooo the twig .... its drifting away ... !~!
it's kinda one of those things where, if you heard, you're invited
Yeah, I've had that happen, but only because the girl was a good friend of another female friend of mind so I wouldn't call it a miss - I decided not to. I used to avoid awkwardness like the plague. Now I just run into it, head-on, no-holds-barred.
Yeah, I remember my first miss. I was talking to my first crush, and I said something really stupid like, "nice feet". And then there was this real awkward silence, and then I start staring at her toes as my eyes opened. I dunno why that happened, it just did.
woa, lets not get all angry now.
poor twig. =[
i wouldn't mind a pressed smoked turkey and red pepper jelly panini if you could send me one. how goes? -peggy
i haven't been here in a little while. you be takin' pictures of food? you so Asian.
My first kiss was when I was so young my parents and older siblings only remember it.
WDF.
Sad huh.
But hey I see you've been listening to esthero
awesssommeee isn't she
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