Month: February 2006

  • Here, I'll let you pick the title.







    Hey, it's been crazy. You? Really? Great. Anyway, so I had to get a new bed for a couple of reasons. First is I got really tired of sleeping on a small ass twin size mattress. Y'see, the last time I lived at home I was still in high school. And the last time I slept on a twin was sophomore year of college. Sure, they say it's an extra long twin, but it's still a fucking twin.


    Even though I'm here for a short time period, I figured I should get a new bed because home is where I'll be staying whenever I'm in SF.





    Been busy, man. Went to San Diego for a tradeshow, donated almost all of my crap to Goodwill, had diarrhea twice, tried to comfort my girl over the phone because she's sick, took pictures for my friend who got into a car accident in the middle of the night, been trying to keep up with work demands, ended world hunger, and found that elusive g-spot.


    Okay, so the last two were lies.





    Another thing I like about taking the bus is that you can look out the window and still see a reflection of the interior. It's a pretty cool effect. I can't explain it right, but you get to watch people in a moment. Make sense? No? Sorry, but that's all I have.





    A lot of my clients and vendors are in this nation's heartland. I'm pretty sure all of them have no idea they're talking to a Chinese guy, especially since my adopted Texas drawl drops whenever I'm on the phone with them. It's so strange. When I was young and naive, I used to make fun of Texans. Now I can sound like one. What's more, I like sounding like one.


    I notice I get much better responses and service over the phone when I use my southern charm. The younger me would get pissed and yell and scream about racism. But now I'm just money hungry. That might make me a terrible person and all, but I sleep better at night because I have a new bed.





    Just realized that I used a sentence about the last time I slept on a twin. That can be misconstrued. I've never slept with a twin, or a set of twins for that matter. I have been with two women at once before, though. It's actually a lot of hard work and I don't recommend it to people with weak backs or small beds. Sex with too many people at once is like having too many children at once. Too many mouths to please.





    If I sound bitter about sex is because I've been forced to become a monk. I might as well be one of those servants with his nuts chopped off. What are they called?  Eunuchs?