December 9, 2004
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Stop it, you asshole. Magic fingers my ass.
Some of the best moments in sports happen in overtime. I’m not going to name them right now because I’m about to put in some hours to finish up a project. This moment is bad bad bad.
Could be worse, though. Worse would be my friend’s situation. His chiropractic classes require a kit that measures blood pressure, has a bunch of scopes, is utterly useless when trying to pick up girls at a bar, and costs a grand*.
If I were studying in the medical field I’d probably end up MacGyver-ing any kits I was supposed to buy. Can you imagine the fun? I’d check your ear wax or give you a colonoscopy with a jumbo sized electric cattle prod. With any luck I’d probably the world’s nastiest OB/GYN.
*that’s one thousand dollars, tsou go wan bah dan.**
**that’s a bad stinky dog egg you tsou go wan bah dan.
I am positive that in a reality other than this one we are living in that my last name is Chen and I am a OB/GYN. Hence, I am known as OB Chen in said reality. My business card reads:
Don’t fear the pap smear.
For some reason I have the notion that most OB/GYN’s are male. I find this very interesting because I wonder where I went wrong. Perhaps it was my parents’ failure to remind me that I can get paid to play stink finger all day. Had I known this information earlier I would have studied much harder and pursued a degree in medicine.
Instead, I’m just a loser with a film degree and clean fingers.
If I were an OB/GYN in this reality that we live in, my business card would read:
Dr. Cypherningya913. Voted Best Weekly Manicure and Mr. Magic Fingers by the Vagina Doctors of America Blogring on Xanga.com.
You eight hour day assholes! Save me from my vagina-less work. I’ll make it worth it to you with my magic fingers.
Comments (19)
true, overtime in sports can get real intense. except in tennis. thats just dragging out a rally into a game.
“Well, at least she’s a woman. I tried to go to a man, but it was just too strange. Having a guy spend all that time down there and then you leave, without an orgasm and a bill!” -Samantha-
puhhahah! omg….killer. you had me laughing out loud with this one! “macgyvering kits…” oh my….
You leave me speechless you NUT..*laugh*
And do I even ask what the hell you’re doing with that many flag poles?????
Have a great weekend Kiddo~S
i bet OB/GYN people dont get laid
the obgyn thing… GROSS…
just GROSS!
“Don’t fear the pap smear.” << you just made me pee on myself a little bit with that one. but think about it…..besides annual exams, you’d be looking at knocked up and sick pussy all day. you’d have stank fingers and a limp dick then.
RYC: OMG… i see you! you will be on my xanga forever!!! at least until i change the pic, but why do i think you would be on my next pic too… im not sure… hehe. anyway… im pretty faded right now, and i can stil spell, thats pretty impressive! i cant remember what i just read, but i think it had something to do with pussy… so yeah… good luck with that! lol
faded as FUCK… jaxx
*hands you ductape and swissarmy knife* let’s start building that “world’s nastiest OB/GYN” tool!
OB/GYN people don’t get laid????….. Not from some of the scandalous stories I’ve heard on the news!
“vagina doctors of america.” hahaha.
you as an ob/gyn makes my inner lesbian grimace.
churches shall triumph in another time… in another way…
RYC: I don’t know exactly what you mean, but I’m gonna guess.
Either you plan to become a masochist in 10 years (if you’re not one already), or you’re thinking about installing those bionic penis pumps with on/off switch and you need a good kick to “turn” it on.
Am I correct?
BTW
how did you come across
my site ne ways?
Mmmm
I love you!
?
O_o
Jeeae
RYC: u know what… i think you are right. haha. the issue is music… if there is no music, i never get that faded… sooooo… i do the next best thing… update my xanga and drunken IM people. yeay!
jaxx
you have some interestinly insightful stuff,too
thumb up!
you are hilarious
“Magic fingers my ass” could get mighty messy.
hehe.. i’m actually applying to nursing schools right now to be a nurse-midwife. they do most of the non-surgical stuff that OB/GYNs do, like breast exam and bimanual (two fingers inserted into vagina) exam. i have a very clinical mind about it, but some men said it was a turnoff. guess not all guys think lesbian action is cool. it might also be because i’ll have more experience with women than them hahaha