December 13, 2004
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Some pagans pray to yellow gods.
I walk around with full pockets, but I ain’t rich.
A week before my temporary exodus and I’m hustling to work on my cousin’s wedding video. It’s been a year, but both he and I have been too busy to work on it. Today was the day to gather the footage I wanted, but I had plenty of obstacles.The first thing I needed was lunch. Fish and chips at Fox & Hound are usually satisfying and give me nostalgia bouts of London to deal with. Come May I’ll be there again. May cannot come soon enough.
I’m talking about the month you perverts.
Obstacle number two and three proved to be impossible to overcome quickly. A wasp made its way into my room and I got scared. Just shut up, okay.I hate most insects, especially ones that cause major irritations with a bite or sting. And although spiders aren’t insects, I hate them, too. Strange that I tend to catch them and keep them in old mayonaise jars.(Do you say maYOnaise or mahnaise?)
The third obstacle was a combination of chips, salsa, and changing television channels with ‘Sticky’, my battery-less remote control.
My fourth obstacle of the day was two miles long. Went jogging for the first time in months and ended up wanting to remove my stomach. This is kind of embarassing, but I tend to take in a lot of air and fart with extreme force while I run like the wind. I like to think of it as a NOS boost even though NOS is cold and my farts are warmer than the winds at the earth’s equator. I would, however, like to point out that they’re both moist, making a comparison not out of the question.Crazy part was after I got home I took a power dump. You know, the kind where your ass cheeks get splashed and your ceiling gets very wet. I’m not embarassed by that at all, though. How can I not be proud?
I’m done capturing all of the footage and am about to take another shit. There were a lot of beans for dinner and in a few minutes they’ll want to come out and dance as if they were of the Mexican jumping breed. Nothing finishes a workout quite like a barbeque.
Comments (21)
mahnaise.
the top photo’s hilarious… and your’re going to london in may? damn, i wish i could go to londn.
hahahah! you crack me up every time. i fucking hate spiders, because i’m terrified of them. and i too say mahnaise. splashing shit..mmm..not such a wonderful image..and the beans trying to escape from your body. classic.
you carry around too much stuff for a guy.
Yeah, I’m the same way too. I HATE insects, esp. wasps. I freak out everytime I see a centipede on my balcony!
what about a combination of mahnaise and maYOnaise? more like… mayanaise?
aside from that, i’m at a complete loss of what i could possibly say in response to the rest of this post.
afraid of wasps and carries around too much crap.
girly meter reads: 7
Your pocket stuff mirrors mine except I have chapstick. And it’s pronounced mayo. Everything besides 1 syallabus is too taxing to say.
i bet you look like you have really wide hips with an ipod, wallet, watch, keys, TWO pairs of sunglasses, a charlie brown tin box of something(?)…heheh! when/if you have a girlfriend, you can dump it all in her purse! =D
hahahahhha WHEN he has a girlfriend? hahahahahaha
oh wait, sorry.
Girls love it when men take power dumps.
now you’re just embarrasing me
Hahaha at Sue’s comment. NOS boost, that’s pretty funny.
is there no end to your wits
haha sorry. i didn’t mean to, i swear! it just happened to play as i was typing =)
u need a man bag for all those goodies.
you get away with talking about the sickest stuff sometimes man. it’s funny though, i knew a guy that did the same. he would start running and gas would blow all over lol. Man, i so would trade you for the fuzz and occasional $20 bills i keep in my pockets
the moment i wake up….
…
we have similar music tastes. i also really like bathroom humor. it never fails to get me. running does get the juices going. i ran a marathon in 2001, and you should hear about all the bodily explosions that come with the territory. nipple guards. ueck.
what the heck do you really do, man? and what are your aspirations? i’d be happy to make any kind of movie with you (yes, ANY kind
hahahahaha… i HATE insects too! theres this spider that lives in my room right now… his web is HUGE!! i dont know how to kill him without even the slightest possibility of him falling on me… but he seems to stay put for the most part… i hope he knows that his days are short.
how so?
hey look you forgot headphones for your ipod.
useless, just useless.
but they hurt when thrown.
on the other hand, I’m more scared of insects that pose a real threat and danger. like black widows, brown recluses, and the occasional butterfly.
maybe its not an ipod. maybe its a small boombox that looks like an ipod
i say mayo. and insects rot. i hate them but i used to catch them and pull their legs off with tweezers.