January 7, 2005

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  DAY THREE:::SEATTLE

  
  

  
  

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  I woke up and saw fog rolling into Seattle. It was an awesome sight to see fog underneath you rather than above you. This must be why gay men fight to be on top.

  
  

  The original plan was to go to Seattle Center, the Aquarium, have a late lunch at Pike’s Place, see Lion King, and find a spot for a late supper. But then Kinky’s friend called and needed a ride from the airport. She goes to UW and it’s ironic that I will be picking up someone flying into Seattle from California with a car with California plates. No one thought it was funny except me. Different state, same old shit.

  
  

  
  

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  The main reason why Kinky and I need more than one toilet is because we tend to move our bowels together. It’s so romantic.

  
  

  At the hotel, I let her go first. Mostly because it is one of those unwritten rules of chivalry under the ladies first policy. There are a couple of more reasons, first being my bowel movements tend to be as long as symphonies. Second, people tend to die of air deprivation if they are in the vicinity of where I laid one.

  
  

  
  

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  On the elevator ride up the Space Needle, we have the world’s most feminine operator. He’s asian, which makes me swell with pride.

  
  

  The view from the Space Needle could have been great, but the fog has covered the city. Ten minutes after we’re up there the clouds come in and you can’t see shit. Oh well.

  
  

  
  

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  After we pick up Kinky’s friend we decide to go to lunch. Ten years ago, I ate lunch at Maximilien’s in the Public Market with my parents. Now, me and my woman pass by the original Starbucks and watch people throw fish around as we make our way to the restaurant.

  
  

  Throwing fish would be an awesome job because it would give you some crazy hand grip. I suspect I would be able to strangle people easily. The only drawback is smelling like fish. But if anyone complained about my odor I’d probably just strangle him. Easily.

  
  

  
  

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  Sunlight was pouring through the windows at Maximilien’s. It’s a French rustic seafood cafe that has killer mussels. Everything lived up to my memories. The stunning view, good food, slow service, and scheming Iraqi terrorists are all still there.

  
  

  What could have been an hour long lunch took three hours. It was a nice pace though because we got to catch up with Kinky’s friend and see our server drop two different plates of salad. This is a job that would definitely suck to have.

  
  

  I can bring joy to any job, though. Like if I were a waiter who tends to drop salads on the the floor I’d totally flip out in front of customers. I’d curse at the salad as if it were my sworn enemy and stomp the lettuce good and dead. Again, I’d get fired. But I could get another job to get fired from.

  
  

  
  

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  The Lion King is good, but not great. Kinky likes it a lot, but I thought the show ended up being more about puppeteering than dancing and singing. It looks like I can pull off some of those dance moves and the songs that are already popular keep getting cut off. Zazu is easily the funniest character and Scar did a great job of making me want to shoot him with an elephant gun.

  
  

  What’s weird is the audience in Seattle. They were talking through most of the show and booed the guy playing Scar when he was taking his bow. I’ve only witnessed booing once after a high school show. The villain was the only actor who played his role convincingly and got booed for it.

  
  

  I really wonder how that actor took the booing. It’s such a weird reward for doing a good job. That combined with rainy weather must increase the desire to commit seppuku. I wonder how many Scars they’ve gone through up there. I wonder if it was the same guy I saw in high school.

  
  

  
  

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  I’ve read hipstomp’s blog and his complaints about how people in other cities urge you to drive rather than walk. Man, I have got to agree with him. The Paramount Theatre is only five blocks away from the Westin and everyone told us to drive.

  
  

  Makes me question why Seattle is the fittest city in the nation.

  
  

  
  

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  We didn’t get to go to the aquariam, but I’m sure I would love to work there after I learn how to throw fish.

  
  

  
  

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  • 12:09 pm
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